Extraverted feeling (Fe-dom) could be the most common personality type with extraverted sensing (Se-dom).
What is Fe?
When I read Jung, I quickly saw the very few introverted feelers around me. They never shine nor reveal themselves but you can notice a subtle sensitivity, a connection to your own story as if they lived it, and an unbreakable sympathy and parallelism just beneath the surface. It may take the guise of a quiet parallelism and nothing shows externally. Since any move in their direction is dampened, it could easily be felt as indifference or a negative judgement.
But what about Fe?
As I was trying to figure out what Jung meant, I saw images from movies inspired by the early 19th century. Since Jung suggested Fe can take the form of “hysteria”, one fictional character popped up in my mind: a lady from the gentry armed with phony smiles determined to have her daughter marry the best party. It is only a stereotype but I felt incapable to picture what a real extraverted feeler looked like.
What unlocked my mind was this text by Juan E. Sandoval: Fe: Behavior & Mythology. After reading it, everything started to get into place. No need to look for extraverted feelers in movies, Fe was already very familiar.
Starting from Jung, Fe has been associated to a feminine persona: a warm and sympathetic availability, a discreet adjustment to norms, embracing conformity in the most gracious way, a dignified reverence to authority, always with the objective attitude. Jackie Kennedy (ENFJ 9w1) is a revealing example. Since the image of women in the society has evolved a lot, since values have changed, since conformity shifts with our culture, modern women who are extraverted feelers rarely resemble a 19th century stereotype or Jackie Kennedy. But more importantly, extraverted feelers are very common in men.
To hide from its charms, hugs, dramas, conformist control and moving stories, I’ve seen people give Fe a remote shape and satirize it. Fe is the conformity of others: the conformity of hypocrites at the church, the conformity of the histrionic lady, the conformity of the cheerleader… How could it be our own conformity?
Two examples
For now, we are going to focus on a special Fe-dom: Fe-dom for Enneagram type 7. The reader does not need to know the Enneagram or agree that the persons used as examples are 7s. Just keep in mind I am going to describe a certain kind of Fe that is not fully general: enthusiastic, optimistic, suggestible, opportunistic, often hedonistic, with a superior ability to shine and convince… These aspects are not Fe but type 7. At the crossroad of 7 and Fe is a certain idealism.
A person of any given Enneagram type can have any MBTI type. But something about type 7 is especially useful for this presentation. 7s are spontaneous and make everything bigger. With no self-consciousness or self-denial, they make Fe more visible. Two examples of ENFJ SX 7w6s:
Let’s start with two persons of Enneagram type 7 with a less glamorous outlook.
Values and hugs
The first person I could see as Fe-dom in real life was a young woman: ESFJ SP/SO 7w6.
What to say about her? Nothing stands out, nothing eccentric, nothing strange, very social and clearly at ease with anyone. She is not the “life of the party” or so much of a comedian like you would expect from a very extraverted 7. Good mood, spontaneous, high self-esteem, very optimistic, lots of plans… that’s her 7 side. But at the same time, she has something basically friendly, very accessible, ordinary in a good way, almost dutiful and well adjusted. This does not sound very 7ish.
She once did something that revealed her dominant function. On her own initiative, she organized a workshop where a few members of the group we belong to had to express values related to their actual commitment. We were meant to express guiding ethical principles or simply what we concretely expect from others. It was made entertaining, funny and she played the authority with humour (that part is 7ish). Soon, the workshop synthesized the values of everyone into an informal contract. It was refreshingly original and people liked it
The idealistic vibe and emotional sharing reached such an intensity that she eventually cried and hugged some of us. It seems she had found a strong parallelism on ethical, human and idealistic grounds. If you read Juan E. Sandoval, you can see this is Fe in action without any disguise at all. Most key elements are present:
- values and ethics (F)
- social economy and social contract
- influencing each other through a symbiotic emotional chemistry
- what it means to be human
- tribalism and collectivism
- mind over body
Saviour of the world
Now, I am going to give a more “masculine” version. This man is SP/SX 7w6 and Fe-dom. Probably ESFJ.
He is quite charismatic in the eyes of the average person, a kind of perfect son-in-law with a plus of enthusiasm and wit. Like Naranjo said about 7s: the kind of man other men follow. Even if his views are sometimes annoyingly politically correct, he’s not fake and genuinely a good person. 7ish to the bone: grandiose plans, speaks with a lot of enthusiasm… In his surface attitude, he has something of the “car salesman” style. His ability to convince is rarely used for his own interest (apart from self-reassurance which is 7ish).
He values others by easy compliments. He is nevertheless sincere. He will always work extra time for coaching and mentoring but rarely when inappropriate. He always adjusts. His conformity is perfect: valued diploma, the right conformist job, the perfect wife, being the perfect dad of the right number of kids. He buys the appropriate gadgets, plans the perfect holidays… But for a 7, things are never enough. Whatever start up or NGO meant to save the planet comes in his path, he’s in it. He vows to the equality of men and women, of blacks and whites, of cats and dogs… an attitude above reproaches and dark humour. He works (talks?) all day long, and will grant his help to whoever in need.
When time comes to get some work done… we have to listen to his anecdotes about his self-sacrificial heroism… He’s unstoppable. It is so adjusted, almost modest and socially acceptable that you don’t know how to say “can you please shut up?”. While some like it, he annoys a lot people. But it is same story: this idealism is a very powerful emotional link and his energy is enough to embark anyone he meets on the trip to save the world.
What is masculine about this kind of Fe? Masculine/feminine is quite subjective. I would put forward a focus on accountability to the community in his persona, not much display of vulnerable feelings (while he is very vulnerable), no hugs or tears. He always puts rationality forward and even when speaking of general scientific facts, he allows few inaccuracies. This kind of Fe is often confused with Te.
Key traits
Let’s drop type 7 and focus Fe more generally. So far, the behaviors I described are typical of Fe and cannot be confused with Fi. When digging further into the function, things becomes less clear-cut. I cannot reasonably ponder every paragraph but each of them can have a close equivalent for Fi.
Open brotherly feelings
Rather than conformity, what is key to Fe is an easy brotherly attitude, mixed with an embracing emotionality. Think of a “hug”. It may be quite predictable compared to Fi but the feelings are not really fake.
It often feels a little hollow because Fe-users embrace what they value rather than whoever the other is. Like a compliment about a work of art. When people say “it’s beautiful”, it can be felt as an empty label. But this is an intellectualized understanding of Fe. What makes Fe effective in creating an agreeable feeling atmosphere or making anyone feel good about himself (or others) is the feeling itself rather than valuing. Valuing is only the tip of the iceberg. Whether Fe will be felt hollow or genuine depends on the presence of a subject experiencing the feeling, given that for Fe, the subject is quick to disappear behind feeling attitudes.
The embracing warmth, the sympathy itself is rarely fake. Fe users partly feel what they express. One must not be too one-sided in calling Fe phony. This behaviour ties very deeply to a sense of being embarked in the same human condition, a recognition of the other through his existential trials and ethical choices.
Conformity and adjustment
How to describe something as omnipresent as conformity? There are so many conformities: the British Royal Family, the corporate world, some anarchist group in New York in the 60s, fashion and entertainment, cool attitudes in high school… all these would capture only caricatural examples. How does it work? Why are extraverted feelers so conform?
F stands at the crossroad of feelings and valuing: how the mind appraises the value of things in accordance to affect. For an extravert, the external world (the object) has priority over himself (the subject). It means F is meant to have some impact on the world and the feedback received from the world matters a lot. The valuing that is put forward as well as the feeling attitude that goes with it must have an impact and be well received. Any time he perceives this impact failed, an immediate adjustment occurs. Values soon become selected to echo what can be received by the world and like any extraverted function, the prevailing force in the environment matters.
What is valued is not so much someone else’s preferences but a a force at work in the society. One’s existence is subjected to it and it is far more important than one’s own moods or impressions. Not only a servant to this force, Fe can only exist as long it shows adjustment to it and as long as the subject moves with the object. Values are meant to find a place in a picture greater than a given individual.
Will Fe stand as a citizen of the world with infinite fortitude, ready to any possible sacrifice to make whatever he considers good eventually triumphant, or just a sheep who embraces any social contract to be included and play his role? It’s always in between. It seems vital for an Fe-user to get a positive feedback from whoever sounds close to a common ideal. Fe is simply human. Extraverts cannot afford the protective distanced egocentricity of introverts.
Contemporary values
Extraverted feelers do not live in the 1920’s when Jung published his famous book. Their values make sense in the culture they live in. They have personal values as much as introverted feelers.
As an analogy, a fact accepted by an extraverted thinker is not a mere reflection of a generally accepted fact. He uses his mind to tell true from false (or what works) as much as an introverted thinker.
But for Fe users, values happen to be fairly aligned with the trends in the world they live in (as long as it makes sense) and that’s where he puts his emphasis on. But beware, aligning with the prevailing values of the world does not mean agreeing with the state of affairs.
Here is a list of the most typical values expressed by extraverted feelers I can think of (note that I live in a leftist environment and these values are typical of it):
- equality of men and women
- defence of minorities (including racial)
- condemning war
- LGBT rights, gender neutrality
- animal wellbeing, ecology
- democracy
- fighting fake news and disinformation
- individualism: being an individual capable of personal choice, blaming the evil authority above the individual
- allow scientific objectivity to triumph over ignorance and superstition
- …
Being a thinker no way means being opposed to these values. Similarly, feelers will agree with thinkers that 2+2=4. Sometimes, the thinking function is more apt than the feeling function to take on some of these challenges. It does not matter, F is only valuing. What is specific to F is the energy and thoughts involved in it, the desire and ability to touch others and find some parallelism around such values.
I have some memories of conversations around good sentiments and good morals, that feel a little painful when I’m not in the mood for it. I recently talked with an Fe-dom 9w1 who condemned the war in Gaza. No need to say she’s right. But discussing organized murder with a warm friendly smile for several hours was above my fortitude. Such things just feel bad. Aren’t you allowed to just feel bad?
I just expressed some frustration at something I lived under the influence of an Fe-dom. But if you pay attention to what I just said, you can see that I am myself an Fe user (“aren’t you allowed to…”) . That’s how I started to suspect that anyone pissed off by Fe in a similar way is also an Fe user.
Pathos and drama
I don’t mean something very precise by these words. It ranks from making some story emotionally touching to manipulative dramas, what we could call a “drama queen” or as Jung said, “hysteria”. Meghan Markle is a caricature of such Fe gone manipulative. But when we look at more normal cases, Fe and Fi are hard to tell apart.
One thing that tells Fe from Fi is the subtle expression of a certain kind of pathos. I insist on it because Fi is wrongly imagined this way. While a real sensitivity to being hurt, criticized or rejected exists in Fi, an external display as pathos and moving stories of ugly ducklings, misunderstood geniuses, sacrificed children, unsung heroes… is most often Fe. Fi can feel it but usually does not channel it to the outside.
One usual style of Fe pathos is simply “vent and rant”. While anyone can be pissed off or criticize, Fe expresses it a certain way. The stage is set, the story is made appealing, a complex psychodrama is orchestrated to build an ethical resonance. It invites anyone to get into the story and choose who they are going to shame or side with. In this temporary parallelism, we all become a hero, a judge, a friend, a wrongly accused.
What about Fi?
Fi does not allow an easy presentation like Fe. But we can guess that whatever is perceivable at the surface in Fe exists in Fi as well.
Two things are fundamental to F: values/valuing and universal human stories (dramas) for which these values give an emotional colour. The main mistake when trying to tell Fe from Fi is splitting the spectrum of values and stories in two, saying one is Fe, the other is Fi. Something like this:
- Fe values this, Fi values that
- Fe focus on this story, Fi focus on that story
The complete spectrum of values and stories belongs to F, none is more to Fe than Fi. The only difference is that Fe moves with the object while Fi dampens its influence. Basically, any kind of value is an expression of Fe as long as it is channelled to the external world with an impulse to impact and adjust.
Fi is not the opposite of Fe. For example, when I said Fe is into contemporary values, it does not mean Fi have weird or anachronic values. For Fi, values are deeply perceived, processed, and will determine a conclusion internally, but they are not put on the table. Similarly, whatever hysteric or histrionic tendencies exists in Fe can exist in Fi almost the same.
Fe-aux
In general, a function works the same if dominant or auxiliary. The auxiliary function is only less strong. But the dominant function can alter or hide the work of the auxiliary function.
Still, Fe is easier to see than Si or Ni, it often happens the first thing we see for IxFJ is Fe.
I don’t understand S well. All I can say is that for ISFJ, the stability and balance of Si, as well as its traditional outlook reinforces the sense of conformity from Fe. Si being discreet, ISFJ essentially looks like Fe with more distance, prudence, calm or long term involvement. A sense of shy Fe, socially limited Fe, well measured Fe, often emanates from them.
For INFJ, it’s another story. The Ni-Fe combination is a bit of a contradiction. One key aspect of Ni seems to be opposite to conformity: what Jung calls “the crank“: having views not meant to be received by the environment at all, emphasizing personal visions against common sense.
In ENFJ, this does not shadow Fe so much. For 7s for example (think of Cyndi Lauper), Ni shows as glimpses of offbeat humour and weird creativity. Fe overall makes sure conformity is preserved and smoothly adaptable. For 9w1s (think of Jackie Kennedy), Ni feels like a parallel universe concealed behind a perfect conformity.
For INFJ, Ni is stronger and can almost completely hide Fe, almost reversing it. Schematically: a nihilistic crank with fantastic visions who loves everyone, a weirdo hiding an ambitious hero who wants some hugs, a conformist who appears as a perfect alien… INFJ is quite puzzling.
INFJ artists
INFJ is a pretty broad type (like all the other types). Some aspects of it are well captured in popular websites about the MBTI but not all of them. I don’t mean that what follows is general about INFJ, only selected insights for certain persons. I will focus on some INFJ artists because their inner relationship to Fe is so intriguing, so rich, so powerfully expressed, that it allows diving into some of its paradoxes. My comments are only hints, watching the interviews is what matters.
7w6 – Jeff Buckley
Jeff Buckley is a rare style 0f type 7. Roughly no-one would see him as a 7 except me. Most would see him as a 4. His Enneagram type is secondary, what matters here is to observe an unselfconscious frustration against conformist judgements. In this interview, his Fe vibe is pretty blatant.
9w1 – Thom Yorke
Thom Yorke is the typical INFJ visionary great artist. On the one hand, you find the typical vehement criticism of conformity: “Fitter, happier, more productive” with the disillusioned passive-aggressive 9ish tone. On the other hand, the heroic self-sacrificial vibe of Fe is equally blatant. Think of : “I’m back to save the world”, “you can try the best you can”… In this interview, he evokes an essential Fe opposing its shallow side.
I could cite countless similar rock artists, all INFJ 9w1: Kurt Cobain, David Bowie, Peter Gabriel, Roger Waters… with the same dual vibe regarding conformity and contemporary values. The song “Heroes” by Bowie is a pure expression of Fe. In the song, Fe sounds possible in a virtual potentiality (Ni) underlined by the bitterness of its actual failure.
4w? – Leonard Cohen
Leonard Cohen is, to my knowledge, the only 4 who has ever been famous. In spite of a more disruptive and sadder content, in spite of being an image type, we find a similar Ni crypticity and vision. And the same troubled relationship to Fe, openly looking for its essential meaning (Ni). See this interview.
Enneagram Elements 